Cheesecake And Tea

It has been the busiest week ever since the year started, taking on unavoidable, extraneous jobs coming from those incompetent colleagues who lack the adequate skills and intellect to handle, and at the same time balancing my teaching and rehearsal schedules. Somehow, it is at such vulnerable and least rational times when strangely alluring artistic theories decide to introduce themselves and sell their ideas to me. As usual, the hidden adventurous streak in me decided to invite them into my comfortable home and try out their ideas. A costly mistake which almost destroyed the very core foundation of why I practise the arts...

Had a couple of hours to spare between my lessons yesterday, I sought refuge at my favourite tea room in the vicinity. Indulging myself in a pot of Darjeeling tea and a slice of Blueberry cheesecake, I spent the next two hours reading some literary materials recommended by a friend and pondering upon their contents. Staring in my face for the next hour or so was the preface to the novel The Picture Of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. Of course, one shouldn't treat this cynical aesthete so seriously, but it was the very basis of his art that had been eating into my soul for the past week or so.

Being fairly new in the arts and thus restricted my circle to mostly musical techniques at the beginning, I hadn't had the chance and privilege of being exposed to the more modern artistic theories put forth in the arts scene (thankfully!). After deciding to come out of my shell and open myself to the artistic world, I was overwhelmed by the multitude of artistic theories which seem so foreign and appealing at the same time. A part of me just wanted to subscribe to the one which seems to seems most appealing, but thank God, the conservative and rational side managed to suppress the impulsive streak and held out a little longer. What Wilde and many other modernists had believed in, known in French as L'art pour l'art (art for art's sake), certainly has certain most tempting qualities personally. The most transient aural and visual beauty alone truly appealed to my senses and often linger in my thoughts and soul for some time to come, just as the aesthetic visual beauty of the reddish tea in the transparent teacup on the black wooden table is one of the reasons I frequent the tea room I was in. I was on the verge of embracing that theory to be the basis of my music, till Bach chorales and Beethoven symphonies came into my mind...

Somehow, I interpreted the preface as Wilde's personal beliefs and perception of art itself, at the same time justifying each and every statement of it to the content of his works which I spent quite some time on in the past week. He pretty much summed his beliefs in this preface, and ultimately reveals himself in the last statement - All art is quite useless. Of course, on the surface, one can simply conclude that Wilde was trying to be cynical by apparently contradicting the previous statements which he had written earlier. But I would rather interpret that statement as the only and sole meaning in art was its aesthetic beauty, nothing else. Take away the emotions, morality, politics, didacticism in art and what was left (aesthetic beauty) was what he believed to be sufficient to form the basis for pursuing of the arts.

If I were to subscribe to that theory, it would be almost impossible for me to reconcile my art with my relationship with my beloved Father. Holding on a a beauty that is only transient in nature? I'm not quite ready to give up my faith just to pursue the short term preservation of an ephemeral beauty, neither do I think I would be ready anytime in the future. Somehow, such an artistic theory can only be embraced by athetists, or hypocrites...

Such aesthetic beauty, albeit important, wouldn't form the core basis of art itself. Whether which other element ought to be the core element, be it meaning, truth, atmosphere etc., ought to depend on the creator of the works. I wouldn't be in a position to reject any, for my place as a performer and teacher is subservient to the creator, but the least I ought to be doing would be to lay a firm foundation for my music to be performed. Like how Wilde's works reflect his artistic theory, it would be natural that my music would reflect my personal beliefs on art as well...

All this while enjoying the tea with the most sensual and spicy aroma, with the lovely cheesecake to go along with. A pretty charming and slightly mentally chaotic way to spend the evening...